Worst pickup lines

[David]

Want to impress a woman? Don't look at these! Place your worst pickup lines here.

"If I was a fly, I'd land on you first. Because you're the shit."
"Are those space pants? Because your arse is out of this world."
"My love for you is like diarrhea - I just can't keep it in."
"Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get."
"You have something on your butt. My eyes."

18+
"I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger."
"Do you come here often?"
"There are 206 bones in the human body. Want another one?"
"That shirt’s very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be coming too."

[EDevil]

(18, if not higher +) If i was a watermelon would you swallow or spit my seeds?

^ Always works. Trust me.

(I like this post already )

[David]

I'll try that one next time xD

[Iceglade]

is ur name wifi cuz im feeling a connection





/thread

[Xray_Doc]

tfw no gf

[Chibill]

Lol at ice

[AFtExploision]

I'm a pilot. Want a ride in the cockpit?

[seankingman]

^ That's not even funny...

[RandOMFG]

Wanna see my 16-bit CISC redstone CPU with an 8-bit IS?

[David]

Wanna see my 16-bit CISC redstone CPU with an 8-bit IS?

lik iph you cri everytim

[EDevil]

You'll be the switch and i'll be the cable tonight.

[AFtExploision]

May I insert my floppy into your drive?

[jxu]

There's only going to be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

[AFtExploision]

OH SNAP THAT WAS GOOD

[greatgamer34]

I put the STD in Stud... All I need is U!

[Xray_Doc]

I want to put my penis in your vagina.

Did I do good?

[greatgamer34]

I want to put my penis in your vagina.

Did I do good?

git gud

[Xray_Doc]

shut up ya fukin casul

[David]

There's only going to be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

Dayyyuuuummmm, now Uranus has a different meaning all of the sudden xD.

[EDevil]

You have a mirror in your pants? Cause i can see myself in there

[David]

You have a mirror in your pants? Cause i can see myself in there

Clever...

[JeremyG]

Ain't nothing 'micro' or 'soft' about it...

[Dcentrics]

its only micro when its soft.... :C STOP JUDGING ME *cr1s 4 d4y5

[AFtExploision]

At least Im not Dcentrics

[EDevil]

At least Im not Dcentrics

Indeed.

Anyhow: Is your name google? Cause you're everything im searching for.
(Yes, old one. But it needed to be mentioned in le post.)

[seankingman]

My female sense is tingling.

[newomaster]

Baby can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curve?

[greatgamer34]

Baby can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curve?

Im using this. This is mine.... ALL MINE!!!!

[AFtExploision]

Baby, come and look at my 64 bits.

[VirtualPineapple]

Acquire several dozen limes.
Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”

[Guy1234567890]

Would you like to have anonymous sex with me? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then today is your lucky day!

[Legofreak]

Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

[jxu]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

[greatgamer34]

Wanna have sex? Is the answer to that question, the same as the answer to this one?

[Dcentrics]

Wanna have sex? Is the answer to that question, the same as the answer to this one?

[Legofreak]

Wanna have sex? Is the answer to that question, the same as the answer to this one?

A B
0 0 lies
1 0 sex
0 1 lies
1 1 sex

[EDevil]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
And the middle one is for you!

(works every single time (trust me(I know it may sound odd, but i couldn't believe it either)))

[jxu]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

[David]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

[seankingman]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

[EDevil]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I thought it already received some given by the shear size of the piston...

[seankingman]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I thought it already received some given by the shear size of the piston...

It is a special kind of piston you only use on those you love.

[Xray_Doc]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I probably should tell you it doesn't work half the time and might spaz out a bit.

[AFtExploision]

Penis.

[seankingman]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I probably should tell you it doesn't work half the time and might spaz out a bit.

Very true!

[Nuuppanaani]

Hey, you extend my sticky piston.

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I probably should tell you it doesn't work half the time and might spaz out a bit.

Very true!

And it shoots the stuff it's holding out if u use it too quickly.

[greatgamer34]

Penis.

I penis you too!

[Dcentrics]

im just gonna break the sequence here and BREAK

[Legofreak]

I would like to extend to you, an invitation the pants party.

[EDevil]

try (
being on topic
)
catch (
Admin will delete post
)
finally (
*Goes back to work*
)

[David]

it's two meters long and one meter thick!

And doubles in length when it is given energy.

I probably should tell you it doesn't work half the time and might spaz out a bit.

Very true!

And it shoots the stuff it's holding out if u use it too quickly.

Wow, the similarities of a sticky piston and a penis....

---

try (
being on topic
)
catch (
Admin will delete post
)
finally (
*Goes back to work*
)

I'm sorry my friend, but you're wrong. I'll fix it up for ya!

try {
being("onTopic");
} catch(Exception e) {
abuseAdminPowers("deletePost");
} finally {
pretend("goBackToWork");
}

[Dcentrics]

its not abuse if its reality.

[David]

The alphabet has 21 letters, right? [She says "No, 26 ye dumbass"]. Oh I forgot U-R-A-Q-T.

[Xray_Doc]

More like, U-R-A-F-G-T

[EDevil]

Why buying expensive bra's when i can hold your boobs all day long for free?

[JeremyG]

I'd GeT_RiGhT in your F0rest, if you know what I mean

[PabloDons]

Daaaaayyyyuuuuummmm guuuurrl!

[Xeomorpher]

*stare at them furiously for 40 minutes*

[greatgamer34]

The alphabet has 20 letters, right? [She says "No, 26 ye dumbass"]. Oh I forgot U-R-A-Q-T.

[She says "You're missing 1 letter ye dumbass"]

Oh, You'll get the 'D' later!

[David]

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhh!

[Cutlassw30]

you're a QT3.14

[Magazorb]

One i accidently did at work today to some girl, "May i borrow your hands please?"

[Xeomorpher]

Wait, I've said that too ... and they agreed ... shit, have I been missing out?

[VirtualPineapple]

That was the signal!

[Magazorb]

Poor xeo... missed out on having a hand XD

[ourson15]

"Want your hopper activated? Here, borrow my lever!"

[ourson15]

The alphabet has 21 letters, right? [She says "No, 26 ye dumbass"]. Oh I forgot U-R-A-Q-T.

Hmm... Gonna try dat

[jxu]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

[David]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

Then you'd get to 27. That sucks.

[jxu]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

Then you'd get to 27. That sucks.

Counting skills...

[seankingman]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

Then you'd get to 27. That sucks.

Counting skills...

Spaces are not part of the alphabet...

[jxu]

Did you know there are only 20 letters in the alphabet? Oh wait, I forgot tfw no gf

Then you'd get to 27. That sucks.

Counting skills...

Spaces are not part of the alphabet...

...






Count the letters...

[seankingman]

Then you'd get to 27. That sucks.

Counting skills...

Spaces are not part of the alphabet...

...






Count the letters...

Exactly, 7 letters + 2 spaces = 9 characters

[David]

What's your point, Sean?

[zSwifty]

wow, just, wow













































































































































































:/ this is strange

[PabloDons]

please don't bump old threads...