Why am I me?

[JeremyG]

Nothing ever happened. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.

Stay calm. Move along as if nothing ever happened, because nothing did ever happen.